Dear Body,

Please stop fucking me up.  I am very busy and do not have time to waste "resting" or otherwise waiting around for you to not be bothered by lots of late nights, too much coffee, and, to counteract the coffee, booze.  Just get it together, we have to cooperate so I can get through, say, November.  Then I will rest and lay off the caffeine/alcohol rollercoaster. Kidneys, I get it, I wasn't drinking enough water.  My bad, but do I need an ongoing infection for you to make your point?  No.  I prefer your attention-getting mechanism from four years ago: stones. Skin, if you're the only organ listening, could you possibly just give up on the rash?  It doesn't even itch, but it's sort of starting to look like leprosy. Hair, you can stop falling out now.  I'm taking vitamins again.

Thanks for understanding,

Lauren